Rich Joy.

To say this season of life is rich with joy feels like a tremendous understatement.

God is more beautiful to me, His promises more comforting, and His character a greater source of hope and joy than I've ever known before...and it continues to increase.

God does not change. He has not. He will not. He is not spiteful. Or ever trying to "catch me" or "trick me" or manipulate me. He hears my prayers. He sees my heart. He knows my desires. He has promised me His faithfulness. And His leading.

The Gospel is the source of all joy. If I'm in a relationship, or single. If I have money in the bank, or not. If I get married and my future husband ends up being faithful to me. or not. If my marriage is enjoyable. or a constant challenge. If I have kids. or not. If they are physically, mentally, spiritually well....or not. GOD is the same. My salvation is secure. The King rules and reigns! And I will be communing with Him and enjoying His character and delighting in His nature as long as I live. Whatever that life looks like.

While the relationship I'm in right now often (and regularly) serves as a catapult to push me into the arms of God- wrapped in His promises and enjoying His character...my relationship with a boy could never replace my relationship with God. (Though, it can and is an agent that I am so grateful for...and I attribute much of this perspective and the resulted joy to great leadership.) It's funny how though I've heard this a thousand times from people, experiencing it has surprised me.

My life is about worshiping, adoring, and extolling Jesus Christ. THAT...will never change. The fundamental things about my life will remain the same as circumstances surely will be a constant change.

WHAT HOPE IS IN THIS TRUTH!!!

After writing about these things in my journal, I came across Psalm 91- to which I so identified with the Psalmist.
Starting in vs. 14: "Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honour him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."

AH! Isn't it so good?! The promises of God that wrap around us and hold us so tightly. His character revealed in each one. Such hope! Such joy!

The promised "what" with no "how"...

A recent Bible reading plan brought me to Genesis 12. Here, the Lord has met me, encouraged me, and greatly challenged me. Allow me to share with you my notes.

"Go...I will show you." (This is what God tells Abram to do: Leave his country. And trust God. With no specifics or directions.)

God doesn't paint pictures to explain what our futures will look like. He will show us along the way. This keeps us near to Him and depending on Him and communing with Him.

God promises the "what" to Abram. ("I will make you a great nation and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.") But He doesn't tell him "how."

So He does with us.

"I will never leave you. I will provide for your every need. Good and not harm is your future. I will be faithful when you are faithless. I will act in your life. I will carry you. I will comfort you."

...but we don't know how. What will it look like?

But we read, "So Abram went."

THIS was the man of whom it was said his faith is counted to him as righteousness. THIS is the man who's faith is in the character of God. He did not ask, "how?"...but trusted the "what."

When Abram got to Shechem and the Lord made a promise, "To your offspring I will give this land"....Abram built an altar. I am amazed that in the midst of all of this, Abram wasn't looking for God. He wasn't wandering past Canaan trying to "figure out" what God was going to do, or asking hundreds of questions. He wasn't searching for a specific place to dedicate to his descendants. But God lead him (without him knowing, really) to the exact place God planned to promise to his descendants. Psalm 62 says, "For God alone, my soul waits in silence." When I REALLY trust...my heart is silent. I have no questions, concerns, suggestions or recommendations for God. I trust Him.

And an ESV study note reads: "To obey, Abram must trust God implicitly; all human support is largely removed."

Just a few chapters later, Abraham's faith causes him to "rise early" after being told "Take your son, your only son whom you love...offer him...as an offering..."

After passing this test, an angel of the LORD said, "now I know that you fear God."

Oh! May this be true in our own hearts! LORD, grow my fear of you. And in light of that, may my fear of man dissipate...teach me to trust what you say without wondering how exactly you'll be faithful...

Guarding vs. Protecting

So. There's a difference.

Between trying to protect ourselves and guarding our hearts.

When I guard my heart, I guard against sin.

When I protect myself, I protect from pain.

I try to control. I don't trust God. I don't trust that even if He chooses to bring pain, He will comfort me in it and carry me.

When we put our TRUST IN God, and commit our way to Him...He acts. He is our Protector and our Shield. And He is worthy of our trust.

This, I am learning in a new and glorious way as God has been revealing different areas of deep-rooted fear I didn't know existed. A desire to control. Figure out. Manipulate. Have an answer for.

Nope. Surrender is the only option. Well, other than misery.

Rejoicing at what the Gospel reveals about the heart and character of God...and loving that it never changes.

Ever.

MY girls

Tonight was a night I've been waiting 7 months for...a Middle School group of girls!!!

I can't tell you how much I miss my LIFE girls in Wales (oh, it could make me cry) but it is with new joy and fresh faith that I embrace these new precious faces as "mine" for this season.

Metro Youth is the name of our Middle School group...so, the abbreviation is "MY"...which, I find endearing because I get to call them MY girls. :)

Olivia, Emily, Meaghan, Kylie, Summer, Megan, Lauren, Claire and Hannah are now on the prayer list!

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old; behold, I am doing a new thing- now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:18

Excited about and expecting what God will do...

Business and a Boy.

Oh my goodness. It has been too long.

In the last month or so, I feel like I've settled so much back into life in the States. Janelle on Location has officially become an LLC (that's a real-life company...wahoo!), and has its own bank account. I got a really exciting advertising lead from David's Bridal Corporate last week-- I'll keep you posted: but basically...it might even be more than I can handle. ::smile::

I've purchased a car (miracles- thank you for praying) for nearly half of what I budgeted for; I've got Florida tags (pretty exciting-- thats a first for me)...and a "new normal" has really begun to set in. Relationships are forming-- some new, some old...new faces are being met, people being added to the church...

God is up to much. It's all very exciting.

A dear friend turned into a boyfriend a few weeks ago-- JP. I'm having so much fun enjoying this season. He came to Metro a year and a half ago when I was in Wales and became friends with a bunch of my friends while I was away. The Lord is currently using JP to teach me more about Himself and the Gospel. Did I mention I'm having so much fun? :)

I would describe this season as feeling like I'm under a gigantic waterfall of earthly blessings. So much "settling" in my finances (thank you, Katherine Peschau) and just culturally after being in the UK is taking place...and ah, its such a gift.

God is the same no matter what season we're in. When I'm suffering, I'm called to enjoy Him. When I'm lonely I'm called to enjoy Him. When I'm tired and weary...guess what? I'm called to enjoy Him.

Same goes for seasons of blessing. Prosperity. "Ease." I am called to enjoy Him.

The Gospel just seems to get better and better...as the steadfastness of God continues to "not-change."

Blessings and Curses.

A lot of earthly blessings in this life are curses as well.

With every new technological advance, we can do something "cooler"...but we also lose a bit of relationship with others its seems, too.

Facebook.

A word that rolls off numerous tongues every day. "Oh ya, I saw that on facebook." There are blessings. There are curses.

But. I wanted to tell you of a blessing. Due to facebook, I have been able to keep in touch with a couple of girls from Bettws who are sending me messages about what is going on in their life.

One in particular, provides ample opportunity to share the Gospel with her every time I respond.

Please pray for her lost soul. And wisdom for my eyes, ears, and mind. This seems to be my only relational evangelistic opportunity at the moment.

A different perspective...

I miss Wales a lot today. I feel home-sick.

As I've been pondering, mulling over and considering during my on-going transition, many things have come to light. And yet. Many many things still baffle me-- and always will. I've found great freedom in recent days that I don't need to understand it all. Ever. It's ok to cry and not know why. It's ok that some things are really difficult and I'm at a loss to words for an explanation. No clue. It's good that some things culturally or relationally are a fun challenge to attempt to grasp...but am I willing to rest in a more glorious thing than understanding: TRUST?

It seems like sin is spoken of in a different way here. Maybe not in America as a whole. Or even Metro as a whole. Maybe just in my circles. But different, nonetheless.

It appears as though when "anger" or "impatience" or various "actions" of sin are spoken of...its then that the horror of these things is explained by another. As motivation to help a fellow brother or sister to put to death that sin in their lives, I think.

What I'm beginning to enjoy is the freedom to not look so intently at the "actions." For Christ Himself calls us to examine our hearts.

I'm seeing that many of my personal current temptations are directly related to my lack of trust in God. I'm impatient because I think I must do that which God "clearly isn't working in." Ha! Or I'm angry because I'm not in control. And others "just don't get it."

Hearing of how despicable and awful my sin is...and how wrong it is...doesn't motivate me to change. Nor does it even really convict me. Instead, I meet condemnation.

No. It's in my moments of struggle that I need to hear the precious, glorious, comforting truth that God reigns. He is over all. He is in control. And He loves me.

Wanna know how much?

So much that He gave His Only Son for me. I need to hear, "Take comfort, friend. He will never leave you nor forsake you."

I need the Gospel. I need grace.

And if I had to sum up in one word what I learned in Wales...that's what it would be. I learned of grace. Grace that is bigger than I ever knew. Grace that is more powerful than I ever thought or imagined. Grace that comforts the deepest hurts. Grace that changes the proudest hearts.

And it is this grace that I cling to and love. It is this grace that offers hope for me...and for you. It is this grace that I commit to preach until the day I die. By grace is how I live.

I pray you are enjoying grace today...