Style Me Pretty Blog

Our wonderful wedding photographer, Cheryl {cheryldawnphotography.blogspot.com} submitted our wedding to Style Me Pretty...and they posted it on their blog!

Check it out HERE!

Very weak in joy.

I imagine very few people will be able to relate to this posting. It is obscure, and I would guess...unusual.

Here I am, in my home-- making a salad with local produce from next door. I'm beyond-happily married to the most amazing man ever. And I cannot believe a man such as THAT loves ME. I am about to sit down and open my Bible and enjoy Truth. Today has consisted of so many fun things- creating a care package for a friend going out of the country on a missions trip, baking, cleaning, riding my bike through our adorable town to run an errand at CVS {the weather is beautiful} and I am just soaking in all of the temporary, yet so hoped-for and waited-for blessings this current season holds.

And I notice yet again, this bizarre mis-conception of God that I've seen at other times in recent years and in re-occurring conversations...

It's as though, I'm "afraid" or hesitant to go to God in abundant joy continuing to thank Him for all of these beautiful things that remind me of His love.

You see, with back-to-back traumatic, heart wrenching, rug pulled out from under me trials and heart aches in circumstances and relationships for a consecutive 5 years...I learned of God's love as I could tangibly feel my weakness. He ministered to me so sweetly in the midst of darkness. As I quoted His promises and swallowed tears. As I journaled about "hope" and "the future" and "redemption." In countless times of loneliness and misunderstanding, I knew He was with me and He understood. Glorious. Beautiful. Wouldn't trade those things I've learned for anything.

And yet, that is the opposite kind of season I find myself in now. My distorted perspective that's been revealed in the past couple of years, is that God prefers when I go through trials and tangibly experience my need for Him. He would rather me be alone and in pain because that's when I'm most rigorously being conformed to the image of Christ. I functionally believe the lie that God is more pleased with me when I'm struggling...because I know His nearness in a different way than in times of rejoicing.

And yet...this season of rejoicing has been long-lasting. The longest-lasting I can remember. The longest "stretch" of happiness and ease in my life. {And without question, the happiest time in my life.} And I am still sorting out how to best glorify God from my heart in this season. I at times find myself reluctant to thank Him for all the little blessings, because {oh this is so ridiculous!} I think if He realized how many gifts He was giving me all at one time, He might take some of them away to better "balance" this season out. Horrifying. That is so not His character. As if He "keeps track" to not "overdue it." What does this reveal about my lack of understanding of the Gospel?!

He loves to bless me. It is easy for me to remember that in times of trial. I look ahead to the "blessings" that whatever "growth" I'm experiencing will lead to. But it is so hard for me to TRULY believe He loves to bless me...when I'm receiving the blessing. Which is so ironic...because I could counsel someone else all day long on how much God loves to bless them. I must subconsciously think I don't fall under the same category.

I have been so perplexed about how to overcome this perspective and how to replace it with truth. Not just in my mind...but in my heart. I want to LIVE like I believe this.

It turns out...I am weak in seasons of joy. I am reluctant and hesitant. Oh, how I want that to change. I want to be strong in joy. Unashamed of the blessings God is giving me! 

Timeless Truth

I love Scripture.

It never changes. It always applies. God is the same...always.

I've recently taken an opportunity to make some extra cash but it's meant being away from my husband for ten days.

When I was single and waiting for God to bring my husband into my life, I regularly took comfort in Psalm 139, pouring my heart out to the Lord. Trusting He knows my desires and what I need and the un-utterable things I was looking for in a husband. Waiting on God's timing. Trusting He knows best.

"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!"

"You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways."

...and then when I'd met Josh and we were waiting for him to get a different job before we got engaged, I had this on an index card on the bathroom mirror,

"...in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them."

I used that to remind me that GOD knew my wedding date even if I didn't. He could see what I couldn't and it had been planned since before I was created...nothing could change it.

And this morning, as I'm 994 miles away from the man I most love in all the world and haven't been able to talk to very much in the last 8 days, here I am reading this same truth.

God has known today completely since before I was born. He knows my thoughts- He discerns them from afar. HE IS NEAR. He knows the conversations I need to have today...and he's "altogether" known my words even before they are on my tongue.

So when I read, "I awake, and I am still with you"...I'm aware that I'm NOT waking up next to my beloved husband.

BUT. This timeless truth gives such comfort and peace: HE is with me. The One who has known all of my days. The One's whose eyes saw my unformed substance before I was made.

There is sweetness in the beauty of it all. My seasons of life have changed drastically: yet here He is. The same God, the same promises and truth.

Gorgeous.

Vows

Because vows are the focal point of the wedding {in my opinion} I thought it'd be fun to share our vows with you, the blogging world. That way, you can feel like you attended the ceremony :)

Eat some banana chocolate chip bread/cake, have a sip of coffee, and do a little dance and you've attended the reception too.

Josh's vows:

Beautiful Janelle,

You are the love of my life, the most precious and perfect gift from God Almighty to me, His son. I never doubted that God would provide a woman to marry, but of the character of that woman, I could not have dared ask for one as you. You are without question more in love with God and His Word than any woman I have ever met. You are an unwavering encouragement to put all trust in God's faithfulness. You have taught me what true, active faith in the sovereignty of God looks like against life's abundant questions. You regularly display the most ridiculous selflessness towards my preferences and comfort at the neglect of your own. And you have visibly demonstrated your love for God in how you love and care for me. I am convinced that God brought us together and that He placed you in my life to be my wife so that together we would more fervently and passionately serve the name of Jesus. People say to be careful you are not finding your fulfillment in another but what I believe we have is a God-glorifying, God-honouring relationship that has built our faith in God's love and goodness as the One provider of all fulfillment. God promises in His Holy Word that as our Heavenly Father, He knows how to give His children good gifts. And Janelle, as a child of God, I have never in my life received such a purely spectacular, concretely undeserved, stunningly beautiful, exquisitely identifiable gift and demonstration of God's love for me as you, my gorgeous girl, are. 

The love I have for you is both a deep attraction and emotional response, but that is just the surface. My love for you, Janelle Ann Leach, is rooted in the faithfulness of God and is as true and lasting a commitment as I have ever made or will make apart from my relationship with Jesus Christ. So in the sight of our dear friends, loving family, and above all, our Creator, Sustainer, God Most High, I make these vows as my marriage covenant to you. These vows are to be an enduring covenant between you and I in the strength of the Holy Spirit without exception until death. 

Janelle, I vow today to take you as my wife from this day forward. To live with you in an understanding manner, to love you more than I love myself, being willing to lay down my life for yours. To lead you in the ways of God our Father as He leads me. To provide for your life with my strength. To hold you close in all triumphs, as well as hardships. To encourage you to mortify sin and take hold of obedience. To rejoice with you in God's goodness and faithfulness. To care for you in plenty and in poverty, and above all, to personally strive to loving God with all my heart, soul, and strength as I work to cultivate a humble spirit that seeks His glory and His Kingdom. I vow all of this to you, Janelle, in God's abundant strength, incomprehensible power, and loving wisdom. I commit my life, and all that I have to you as we join together as one in the sight of God through this marriage covenant until the Lord receives one of us to Himself. Love you. 

My vows:

Joshua Mark Morrison. You are a gift from God. Aside from the Gospel, you are the most profound expression of the Lord’s steadfast love and faithfulness in my life. You are the greatest answer to prayer that I ever have or ever will experience. Your mere existence has built my faith. Your pursuit of me, and your humble and bold leadership of our relationship is a glorious demonstration of the LORD’s listening ear and how He is intimately acquainted with all of my ways; He has heard all of my requests. Surely, God does far more abundantly than all we ask or imagine. Glory to His Name.

I love you with all that I am, and with all that I have. Your character, integrity, and godliness have exceeded even my boldest prayer requests. Your love and affection for God, your passion for His Word, and your heart for the lost, has completely won my heart. I love God more because of how YOU love God, and because of how you love me. Thank you for demonstrating the grace of the Gospel to me in so many ways.

As I have watched marriages over the years I have come to realize that I don’t actually know what exactly it is I am committing to today. I have no idea what trials in this life we will face, or what heart aches await us. I don’t know where God will lead us or where I’m committing to follow you to. I can’t predict ways you or I will change over the years or what sacrifices each of us will need to make. I have no idea how you’ll sin against me, or the ways I’ll sin against you. I don’t know anything about our future. But what I do know is that God is faithful.  I know that the Gospel will never change, so there will always be hope. Hope for us individually, and hope for our marriage. I know that God will never leave us and that He is committed to making us more like Himself. He is ultimately my head. He has given you to me for me to follow, submit to, honour, respect, encourage, and love until the day that I go to be with Him forever. I commit my life to you not because of who you are (even though you are entirely amazing)…but because of who God is. I promise these things to you based on His character…so that no matter what you do or don’t do, how you fail or succeed, my commitments to you will not waiver because they are not based on you, but on the Unchanging One and what He has called me to.

So, it is with deep, passionate, steadfast love for you, and a sincere confidence that marrying you is submitting in obedience to the will of our Saviour, that I joyfully make these vows to you today.

I, Janelle Ann Leach, take you, Joshua Mark Morrison to be my husband. I purpose to love you well by seeking to always love Christ more. I promise to seek to serve you in our life together- by striving to care for you, listen to you, respect you, and to be attentive to your needs and wants even above my own. I want to make it easy for you to always be intoxicated with my love. I vow to pray for you; fervently and often. I commit myself to studying Scripture and to cultivating an on-going desire to model Biblical Femininity. I want to always be open and honest with you- no matter what. I hope that wherever we call “home” throughout our years, I’m able to make a place of rest and relaxation for you. I will seek to show hospitality to others and desire that many would come and experience the love of God and demonstrations of the Gospel in our home. I purpose to be willingly inconvenienced for the betterment of you and your schedule. I promise to follow you wherever the LORD leads you; any city, any state, any country; anytime, anywhere. I devote myself to learning how to better support you, encourage you, affirm the work I see God doing in you, and to treasure your strengths and gifting as they compliment my weaknesses. If the Lord should bless us with children, I desire most to pursue humility- as your wife, and as their mother. I purpose to respect you and speak highly of you in front of them and to them. I promise to do all I know how to train our children in the way they should go; it is my desire to exemplify a life of one that fears the Lord above all else. I vow to pray for them and their salvation; I promise to treasure your role as “Leader” in our family. I want to exemplify humble, wise submission and respect as the Lord leads our family by speaking to you. I promise to repent to you when the Lord convicts me of sin. When necessary, I will give my energy and prayer to seeking to forgive you as Christ has forgiven me; freely, fully, and completely. I want to regularly ask God to show me how I can be a better wife to you. I intend to glean from other’s wisdom and experience and to grow in knowledge and understanding as to how I can be a better wife and mother. I also want to pursue God’s will for US; for our marriage, and our family, knowing it may be very different than other’s experiences.

As I seek to be regularly affected by God’s love for me, and grow in understanding the love Christ has demonstrated to us…it is my hope that our marriage is the first place my overflow of love and joy abounds while I’m delighting in the Lord. I want you to enjoy the Gospel more because of my love, as I have enjoyed the Gospel so much more because of YOUR love.

It is because of God’s promise to complete the work He’s begun in me that I even desire to commit these things to you today. I know that He is my Helper, and this is what He has called me to. Even when I am faithless, He will be faithful, and He will have His way. So, Josh, with everything I am, before God, our family and friends, I pledge my life completely to serving you all the days of my life.

Me-centered, comfort prayers

I find it so easy to do.

"Lord, I pray that everything would run smoothly"

"God, I ask for an easy transition/quick recovery/prompt response"

I'm not saying I think its wrong to EVER pray things like this. But I can easily get caught in a rut. My heart can at times be praying, "God, let me be comfortable, and please keep everything from disturbing me and my world. Oh. and thanks for Jesus."

I am praying through a book called, "Prayers of an Excellent Wife" right now in praying for my husband. I saw one of my mentors had it and as I first flipped through it, saw that it was saturated in Scripture. I knew I wanted it.

So just now, I read several of the prayers in it...praying Scripture over my husband. As I was adding to it at the end found myself praying, "...and I ask that everything would go smoothly for him at work..."

and the Lord had me take a step back and He shed light on that prayer...and how it kind of contradicted the previous things I'd just been praying. I then changed it, "...no...I ask that when things DON'T run smoothly at work, that you'd give him wisdom and skill to handle the situations in a way that honours and glorifies you..."

It's almost as if at times, I pray things that ignore reality. When do things really EVER go "just" as we planned? Why would we pray for that anyways, if we believe God's ways are infinitely higher than ours? Wouldn't it seem more realistic and sensible to pray, "Father, please help me see with Your eyes and help me trust You when my plans don't happen the way I expect..."

I think of it as, praying towards sanctification and growth.

Instead of ONLY praying for healing {we absolutely should} when a loved one is sick, are we also praying that if it's not the LORD's will to heal today, that He would give sustaining strength, hope, and unwavering trust in the promises of God?

When we pray for our team to win the soccer game, do we also ask for hearts and attitudes that are Kingdom-focused?

When I pray that someone's hair would turn out well...am I seeking to protect my own reputation? Or do I add onto it, "but if it is not your will, please give me wisdom as to how to handle the situation and what to do in a way that will expand Your Kingdom and reflect Your heart."

It certainly takes more concentration for me to think of how to pray God-centered, Gospel-affected prayers instead of me-centered or even need-centered prayers.

One of the prayers today ended with, "Through Your Son and for Your Glory". I thought that would be a good thing for me to contemplate AS I'm praying...am I praying these specific things really through Christ and only for His glory? Or does it sound more like I want everything to revolve around me?

I'd love your thoughts/comments.

We got hitched.

Well, the knot has been tied! On the only cold day in February this year, I committed my life to following my best friend as my leader and provider; I promised to serve him every single day of my life. And he promised me the most wonderful things I've ever heard anyone say.

Since then, we have moved 1,000 miles up north where he took a job that provides financial support to missionaries and ministries in our local area. We absolutely love it here. We've created a home...and it's my favourite place in the world to be.

We are so enjoying the adventure of discovering more and more the mystery of Christ's love for His church.

More blog posts to come-- just wanted to update so you know where they're coming from. Life has changed a lot :) In entirely wonderful ways. We are humbled by the grace and love of God. Praise be to His Name.

Encouraging Tunnel Vision

You know how horses sometimes have blinders on their eyes so they can't see through their peripheral vision?

...I think Josh is my pair of those.

In the kindness and tender love of God, He knows my heart and aim is to keep Him first in each day of my life. To keep the most important things my priorities.

...and yet, with big business changes, unknowns in life's near future, and planning a party for everyone I've ever met, I need help to not just "be a girl" and get caught up in my emotions or sentimentality. I need someone to block my peripheral vision so my eyes are fixed on Christ.

This is why God has given me a man who fears Him, loves Him with his whole heart, has great compassion for me, comforts me, challenges me, and loves me so well that I wonder if this last year has been a dream.

I genuinely have enjoyed the Gospel more as a result of how Josh has demonstrated it to me over and over and over again.

I could not be more excited about learning from his focus and perspective...for the rest of my life.

We are 22 days and counting!