Oh praise the LORD that this is not His heart. This is not the character of God.
Psalm 103 tells us to forget not all His benefits. I need to stop thinking about me. Start thinking about God. The benefits He gives us through and in the death of Christ. He forgives. Heals. Redeems. Crowns my life...with what? righteousness? no. Steadfast love. and mercy. Oh how I need steadfast love and mercy!! He satisfies me. With good. He gives me strength.
"He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities." ::Rejoice::
The Gospel is not just for salvation. It is for sanctification too. This, I will be learning for the rest of my life.