Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Full days, full of mercy

My days the last few weeks have been packed.

I'm down a car (which is a blessing, I must remember) so am often thinking ahead and looking at days-- planning when I can borrow which car from whom and what will be least inconvenient for all.

Because my boyfriend is the most sacrificial person ever (well, maybe besides my mom...I guess letting me live inside of her for 9 months and then giving birth to me, gives her some territory for "most...ever"), he has made himself joyfully and willingly inconvenienced in order to bless me. every.single.day.

I get up before the crack of dawn, drive him to work, and come home. Sleep for an hour or so. Wake up again, get ready and pack my things, and head out the door to clients. After about 3 clients, I go pick Josh up from work, drive him home, and continue on in doing hair until 9pm or later. (Leaving him car-less.) Long days. Lots of miles on his car. Gallons of gas.

My wonderfully amazing scheduling coordinator is on holiday this week (hope you're enjoying your hubby, Em!) I'm getting home after 9:30pm to emails to respond to, phone calls to make, contracts to compile, profiles to be updated, etc.

My days are full.

And OH, how the Lord is meeting me. He's used the verse that most encouraged me when I thought my car was worth nothing and un-sell-able to minister to me in so many ways.

"Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have, for He has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" Heb 13.

God is providing for me even as I await His future provision.

I have cars to borrow. I have clients I'm still able to take to save money. He's not left me. He's not forsaken me. He's here. Amazing.

As I began praying for my "needs" the other day (because God loves when we come to Him and cast our cares at His feet) I felt prompted in that moment, to instead make a list of the needs I have that are provided FOR.

And as the list was written, it was almost as though my, "Lord please do _____" prayers shut up. I was even stirred with gratefulness for the toilets we have in America. I am so glad we have clean toilets to sit on-- not holes or outhouses. My comforts are ridiculous.

God delights to bless us, so I know I'm still to ask Him for things...He loves to show His faithfulness...but my perspective was so shifted, that I didn't even really remember the things I needed. He's provided SO MUCH, surely He'll meet those needs...whatever they are!

But it was a bit of a perspective adjustment as I considered that where Adam went wrong...was that he was focused on the thing he DIDN'T have...instead of EVERYTHING that he DID have.

And as these truths have been transforming me, my eyes are focusing more clearly on what's really important. It's not important how much money I have saved. Or what "timely manner" I'm able to find a reliable car in. What matters is that each and every single day, my clients are loved on, and have an opportunity to either hear the Gospel proclaimed, or in some way, see it demonstrated. That's it.

Because eventually, all the money I save, will be spent, and I'll be working on saving new money. Eventually, my new car (which I don't even have yet) will die, and I'll be car hunting again. Eventually, this season of life will be over...and I won't have an opportunity again to interact with those that I do now. And eventually me and my clients will die...and stand before a Holy Judge. And all that really matters will be revealed. And it will matter forever.

This is it: embrace this time.