Easter, an "awkward" holiday...

When I was single, I wanted to write blog posts like this one so bad...

but I feared coming across in an unhelpful way.

Now that I've got a ring on my finger and have said my vows...I feel liberty to speak freely with other "marrieds".

Just a friendly reminder {or maybe a heads up if you don't already know...} from my own personal experience.

Easter goes in the category of "awkward holidays" as a single who lives far away from family.

Mother's Day. Father's Day. Also in that category.

...Holidays that aren't "big" enough on the work calendar to get a day off for to maybe visit family...yet...everyone and their mother {literally} seems to be busy because family is in town or getting together.

There's something a little bit more lonely about knowing the majority of the church is with family. And mine were hundreds {sometimes thousands} of miles away. No one is free to go out to lunch. Or to text back. Facebook is bare. With the exception of pictures of families celebrating Easter.

Maybe its physically not possible to do anything but what your family has scheduled this year. Sometimes, that is entirely legitimate.

But. Maybe you're able to consider inviting a single with long-distance {or no} family to join you? Or maybe just snag coffee with them after relatives leave?

Just a thought. 

We are in fact, family in the Lord. And if your daughter or son lived far away...I imagine it would bless you if someone cared for them during the "awkward" holidays...

The question of "Where?"

It's the most asked question about our desire to do cross-cultural mission's work.

Where?

This leads me to explain one of the things we love most about World Team.

World Team sees themselves as an aid. Helping local churches send missionaries across the Globe.

Many, many local churches around America {and around the world} don't have the knowledge, information, or cultural experience that it takes to effectively send missionaries cross-culturally.

But, World Team does.

So, sort of "holding the hand" of our local church, World Team will help us {Josh, me, and Warrington Fellowship Church} walk through this process...and that includes determining WHERE.

I am ridiculously and shamefully ignorant.

There are so many places, and peoples, cultures and even countries that I don't know about. It is daunting trying to "pick one" when I know very little {or nothing} about them.

...especially when we're planning on moving to this "unknown place" for decades...

This is where World Team comes in.

With their past and current knowledge of cultures and existing teams on various fields all over the world, they will help us as we walk through this process. Next Friday, March 16th, we will begin a week long Orientation. World Team will be watching us, interacting with us, assessing and counseling us in very deep, intentional ways. As they learn about our strengths and weaknesses, giftings and failings, at the end of the week- if they see fit to invite us to be apart of World Team-- they will suggest a number of places for us {and our local church} to prayerfully consider.

So at this point...we don't know yet. We don't know where in the world {literally} we will be going.

But, we are so blessed to have such enthusiastic support from both our local church and the members at World Team, and we are thrilled about deciding together, where "Josh and Janelle Morrison would 'fit' best as missionaries cross-culturally."

We invite you to join us as we pray for the Lord's leading!!

The honest truth.

It's only happened two or three times. Only two that I really remember.

My heart starts racing, my eyes get wide, my mind is whirling, and I start to get knots in my stomach or a lump in my throat-- just for like 15 seconds. And then it goes away. Sort of like a freaking out,  "AHHH!!"

We are going to be moving. To another country. Permanently. For the rest of our lives. Like, forever.

It's a really big deal.

This freaking out feeling is familiar. I felt it a lot more often while preparing to go to Wales. Thoughts like, "I'm giving up everything I love about my life."

I remember one night specifically before leaving Wales- at Starbucks with people who had just recently become dear, dear friends. I remember thinking, "I'll never do this with them again. This is the last time."

...I was right. By the time I got back to the States, various members of that Starbucks gathering had gotten married, or relationships had naturally shifted. I had to start all over with friends in a lot of ways when I returned.

In these 15 second freak outs, I dread nieces and nephews being born and growing up thousands and thousands of miles away. Or my own children- knowing their grandparents through skype or by pictures. I don't like the three months that separate family visits now...how will I survive with three YEARS?!

I hate time differences and how impossible it is to keep in touch with people.

I don't want to eat new food-- I like the food I eat now. It's familiar. It tastes good. I know how to cook here. In the UK it was different- Celsius, strange measurements, and their shops lacked "normal" ingredients to recipes I knew how to make. I don't want to do that again...in another language.

I don't want to learn a new language from scratch. I'm bad at studying and academics  I often end up in tears. And for the academic, it takes like 2-3 years to learn...sometimes 5 to be fluent. I literally won't be able to make friends cause I can't talk to anyone!!

As all of these whirl in my mind and I can tangibly feel the reality of moving...only a few things make them go away. But. They go away very, very quickly.

I must hate this life if I'm truly going to live for the next.

That doesn't mean I'm never going to love the people, the food, the terrain, the life we establish in whatever country we go to.

In fact, Wales turned from "the Scary Sacrificial Unknown" into "one of the dearest places on earth with very close friends" in a year and a half.

But it does mean "giving up" the sweet little life I had planned in my mind. A big house with a fireplace for tons of company and foster kids; family visits at our place for Holidays, having a little salon in our home to do hair while the kids are napping...and just enjoying life. Enjoying relationships. Loving on people. Ministering to them, witnessing to them...

But.

There are people who do not have access to the Gospel.

Now that I am informed about "the unreached"...it will literally haunt me unless I go. I cannot with a clear conscience, stay here in the States knowing that there thousands and millions of people all over the world who have never HEARD the name of Jesus. Who CAN'T pick up a Bible because there ISN'T one in their language. And I'm not just talking about in some remote village. In countries you and I know about, have heard of, have seen on the news, and maybe even have vacationed to.

"How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent?" Romans 10:14-15

The Lord will always be with me.

And this time, when I go. I will have my best friend with me. That makes a huge difference practically and culturally.

Josh and I are both excited about studying and learning more about Heaven; The New Earth. We want our hearts to be stirred...to be further convinced-- that this life...is just for the next.

Let's try to pack the place out.

Dear Christian Parent...

I do not yet have kids, but I'd like to share my observations-- and the temptations I imagine you might be facing...

When you hear about the extravagant birthday party a friend threw for their kid...do you feel discouraged? Is it difficult knowing you have "100 ways to save money in your grocery budget" pinned on pinterest, and you don't even have time to read the post, let alone implement anything? Does everyone else seem like they're just "doing life" a little bit better than you? Cuter, and cheaper, and more elaborate? They're kids are just better behaved? Happier?

I received a small note from my own dad on my Birthday last week. His readiness to boast {yet again} in the grace of God almost DESPITE he and my mom's parenting...was a fresh reminder to me:

"Biblical Parenting" isn't flawless. Honouring God doesn't mean everything is decorated nicely and everyone is happy and smiling with the most recent holiday-themed, decorated lunch. Parenting, like life, looks different for everyone. Yet, what we strive for, should be rooted in Biblical Principles. Your kids, if they are going to follow Christ, need to learn how to forgive, overlook, forbear, pursue humility, etc. And God gives them opportunities THROUGH your weaknesses in parenting, to allow their small, frail, perhaps beginning faith to grow and be strengthened. He will use every mistake for their good AND your good. How will they learn to forgive if they are not sinned against? How will they know they need Jesus unless they watch you lean and depend on Him- knowing you are weak and He is strong?

Think of "perfect parenting" in your mind. Now consider: Where is there room or need for Jesus? How could your children watch and experience grace? Or see a need for Christ at all? Parenting that is flawed, helps kids see our need for Jesus. It's on purpose that you are human. "Fun Pinterest Mom" everyday doesn't do what you ARE doing everyday; demonstrating how to live a life that is dependent on God. THAT is far more important than how often you do crafts, make home-made granola, or cut your kids PBJ in cute shapes.

May the grace of God keep your blinders on- so that you may rejoice with others in their gifts, and compare yourself only to Christ. You will fall woefully short. He will saturate you in grace, and encourage your weary heart: giving you wisdom as you seek Him and ask.

His grace to you this morning,
Janelle

You vs Me

It's an ugly trap.

Our culture is saturated in this comparing game. Who's better? Who is more gifted? Who's making healthier  decisions about their eating? Who works out more regularly? Who is more successful? I am 100% guilty. On facebook, in comments, in my own thoughts.

What is it we're saying?

Apparently there is some "perfect superhuman" we think we're supposed to aspire to be. Someone who works out, eats healthy, loves their spouse {but doesn't over-due telling the world that; a perfect balance is necessary}. Someone who can juggle their time and responsibilities, who home-makes everything and is frugal, who's crafty and cute, who is adored, loved, cherished, worshipped...

...wait. Worshipped? That's going a little overboard.

But. Is it?

Scripture rehearses the beauty of boasting in weakness over and over again. The Perfect Superhuman above doesn't have room for real weakness. They don't need Jesus.

What happened to us celebrating and rejoicing in our differences? Excited about one another's gifts, and yes, encouraging those....without communicating, "Your gifts are better than mine." Is this a mis-guided effort to pursue humility?

ARE we encouraging? Are we encouraging the body of Christ? Or are we puffing others up and tearing down what God has given us?

"For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function....Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them..."

If we all were on the same journey in life {which we're not} and all had the same grace given for the same gifts {which we don't} then this life would feel like a race. To be better, and do better.

But God specifically made us different. So that we CAN'T compare. We are to compare ourselves to the One Perfect Human, Jesus. And we fall woefully short in every way. It is there, in our weakness, He rescues us.

Consider this a small rant. :) More to come on it in the future, I suspect...

Unreached Passion

"I want to go where no one else wants to go."

In my very first conversation with Josh as we drove away from the airport and to a wedding where he knew the groom, and I knew the bride...he uttered the above sentence.

Little did I know then, the depth to which he meant this, nor the profound impact it would have on my own life.

As conversations have been uttered, and prayers have been prayed, it is increasingly more clear that we want to move to another country and people group. One who has not yet heard the good news of Christ, or of eternal salvation. Steps have been taken to evaluate, grow, and prepare us for what we hope will be a life-long journey. We hope you'll join us!

"But my friend hasn't yet heard the Gospel and she lives right next door...why go to another country when there are people in America who need Jesus?"

Great question.

One that I think David Platt answers very well in his message at Together For the Gospel- a conference for pastors.

In it, he emphasizes: local mission and local ministry are totally necessary. Our defenses can go up when missionaries talk about the "urgent need" somewhere thousands of miles away when our own hearts ache for neighbors, co-workers, or family members who still don't know the love of Christ. And for the sake of those dear souls here in America...we need people to stay.

But that doesn't mean that all people are to stay: we, as a church, need people to go too.
Global missions is tragically neglected.

David Platt defines unreached in this way, and I pray it is helpful as you consider journeying with us through this blog:

"Unreached means you're lost and you don't have access to the Gospel by which you can be found. There's no church, no Christian, no Bible available around you. Practically, to live among an unreached people means that you will be born, you will live, and you will die without ever hearing the Gospel that we celebrate....

And there's two billion people in six thousand people groups for whom that is a reality at this moment."

I wish I could pay you to watch this message on line. It's that good. Comments welcome.

Twisted Truth.

A very wise woman once asked me, "What truth is it that's 'gone wrong' for you to be thinking this way? What good thing has become distorted?"

At the time, I was convinced God was more pleased with me in seasons of suffering. In suffering I'd thought, "This is God's kindness to me. He loves me and wants me to enjoy more of Him and His promises right now.  He loves to grow me, and I grow in trials. He wants to keep me near Him- that's why this trial is here."

Now, can that thought be true? Absolutely it can.

But when taken to the "enth" degree, seasons of prosperity {ehem, like now for me} can feel like God is far away. Or that something is wrong if I don't tangibly feel my need for Him like I did in a more trying time.

...unless it is replaced with thoughts like, "This prosperity is God's kindness to me. He loves me and wants me to enjoy more of Him and His gifts right now. He wants to keep me near Him and show me His goodness- that's why this prosperity is here."

...why is it that the second is far more difficult for me to believe? And remind myself of?

I live as though I believe it is more godly to suffer.

We cannot control whether we suffer or prosper, nor the seasons they change. The "season" is not more godly or ungodly. It's how we RESPOND to the season that reveals our hearts.

I am currently doing a project for my counseling class on "the fear of disillusionment." Basically, the twisted truth here, is over-weighing the thoughts and observations of others to the degree that my own discernment or perspective is not valid.

I fear that I am walking, living in, and blind to destructive sin patterns in my life that others from far away can see, but  I {and those closest to me} can't. When incorrectly accused, even if I have many observations from people very close to me that strongly disagree with the accusation, I find it incredibly difficult to dismiss it.

...and not because I want to protect my reputation...but because I fear there MUST be truth in what they brought.

I am learning that my definition of humility and understanding of how to pursue it, is incomplete and at times, totally inaccurate.

My husband and I just read through Job...and it was revealed only more. Job did not waiver to "agree" with the wrong conclusions his friends presented/corrected/rebuked him with. And somehow, at the end of Job, God does not correct Job for dismissing and disagreeing with his "WISE" friend's correction. In fact, God tells these accusing counselors, that they "did not speak what was right about Him" but that Job HAD. This literally blows my mind.

As I am searching Scripture in preparation for this paper, I am finding so many verses that I mentally use as my "reasoning" or "logic" behind how I respond to accusation that I believe is false.

The "good thing" is that I distrust myself and value other's input in my life.

...but this has been taken to an unhealthy, sinful level. I am instead dismissing my own thoughts/perspective, and at times, down-right FACTS to somehow make these observations plausible. And the spiral affect is that I hesitate to bring observations to others because I don't want to cause the same difficulty for them if they don't agree and my observation is just incomplete. Oh, it affects so many things...

I know I can't see things totally clearly. But I have a hard time resolving that OTHERS can't always see things totally clearly.

I don't think a whole lot of people read this blog anymore :) but if you're reading this, would you mind praying for me? As I sort thought my thoughts and emotions and even pain at times, I want to hunger for God more and see things through His eyes. I want to discover and explore how I can more fully trust Him and cling to the cross.