I miss Wales a lot today. I feel home-sick.
As I've been pondering, mulling over and considering during my on-going transition, many things have come to light. And yet. Many many things still baffle me-- and always will. I've found great freedom in recent days that I don't need to understand it all. Ever. It's ok to cry and not know why. It's ok that some things are really difficult and I'm at a loss to words for an explanation. No clue. It's good that some things culturally or relationally are a fun challenge to attempt to grasp...but am I willing to rest in a more glorious thing than understanding: TRUST?
It seems like sin is spoken of in a different way here. Maybe not in America as a whole. Or even Metro as a whole. Maybe just in my circles. But different, nonetheless.
It appears as though when "anger" or "impatience" or various "actions" of sin are spoken of...its then that the horror of these things is explained by another. As motivation to help a fellow brother or sister to put to death that sin in their lives, I think.
What I'm beginning to enjoy is the freedom to not look so intently at the "actions." For Christ Himself calls us to examine our hearts.
I'm seeing that many of my personal current temptations are directly related to my lack of trust in God. I'm impatient because I think I must do that which God "clearly isn't working in." Ha! Or I'm angry because I'm not in control. And others "just don't get it."
Hearing of how despicable and awful my sin is...and how wrong it is...doesn't motivate me to change. Nor does it even really convict me. Instead, I meet condemnation.
No. It's in my moments of struggle that I need to hear the precious, glorious, comforting truth that God reigns. He is over all. He is in control. And He loves me.
Wanna know how much?
So much that He gave His Only Son for me. I need to hear, "Take comfort, friend. He will never leave you nor forsake you."
I need the Gospel. I need grace.
And if I had to sum up in one word what I learned in Wales...that's what it would be. I learned of grace. Grace that is bigger than I ever knew. Grace that is more powerful than I ever thought or imagined. Grace that comforts the deepest hurts. Grace that changes the proudest hearts.
And it is this grace that I cling to and love. It is this grace that offers hope for me...and for you. It is this grace that I commit to preach until the day I die. By grace is how I live.
I pray you are enjoying grace today...
