Sunday, May 2, 2010

"Confused? It's because I love you."

God is faithful to repeat Himself. He knows my mind forgets. My heart grows faint. My body grows weary. He remembers that I am dust.

This morning during our church meeting, I was encouraged. The last five-ish years have been confusing. Lots of abrupt, "drastic" (for lack of a better term) seasonal or relational changes. Overnight, literally. Sharp turns in the road that were very unexpected. Time and time and time again.

Why, Lord? Why all the homes? Why the sojourning? Why the pain in relationships? Why so many life-altering changes?

No one else has any answers for me. Those who know my seasons well tell me time and again that "this is unusual." Or "it doesn't make sense." It really does encourage me to hear that these last years seem to be an "exception" in their difficulty. Like...its not "normal" to have events like this happen in such close proximity. (but what is normal, really?)

And yet, this morning I was told the answer once again. The answer to my confusion. The answer I've heard in and out of each and every single one of the painful or challenging seasons.

"It's because I love you."

God has marked each step. Brought me to all the "green pastures" and "quiet waters"- whatever form they have taken. This was all on purpose.

God is jealous for my heart. He wants all of it. He wants all of me. And the reason He wants all of me: is because He knows thats what will give me MOST JOY. And He wants that. My happiness. My peace. My gladness. He is for me.

Why the pain? Because He loves me. Not in some kind of twisted way. It's real love. Affectionate love. Not just "wanting me to learn" so I'll change. No, compassionate love. Tender love. Grace-filled love.

He wants to show me the depths of His grace and comfort. Why confusing relational challenges? Because Jesus is the only True Friend. He is the Only One who keeps His promises. Why the homes? It's not just to teach me. It's not just an opportunity for wisdom to be imparted to me: though, both of those things are dearly and greatly treasured and I wouldn't trade them for anything. It's because He loves me. The Gospel has become my home.

And while I'm not currently in a season of trial or great pain, it is good to consider these things.

I must enjoy this present season of prosperity and not "wish" I was struggling so I'd grow in other ways. No. I must be grateful in this season and delight in all it's blessings.

Yet, I find it helpful to remember, God's love is not expressed in my circumstances; ie: if things are good, He loves me, and if things are hard, He's upset. No. His love was expressed on the cross.

"When the sun is shining down on me and the world's all as it should be" or "When the road's marked with suffering and there's pain in the offering"...still: Blessed be His Name.

No comments: