The Battle Continues...

Self pity is my enemy. (Well, one of them anyways.) It's a tool that Satan wants to destroy me with. He lies to me. And He knows where I am weak and am most likely to buy into His lies.

I fight back with, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Stop thinking about it because it doesn't matter."

...because it doesn't. It doesn't matter that it's hard to transition culturally. Christ traveled not from one place on earth to another...but from The Sinless Place to The Place full of Sin. He didn't just leave friends knowing He'd return to a different relationship...He left His Father. Knowing He'd be separated from Him and things would never be as they once were. I need to stop taking my emotional temperature.

I was not put on this earth for me. To have my needs met. To have my relational cravings fed by people. I was not put here to be pursued by others. To have a "normal life." (no one has a normal life, by the way.) It just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how many years I feel like I've been "transitioning" for. One home or country to the next. Christ had no where to lay His head. He gave His life away...living for others...and then died. In my place. In your place, if you're a Believer. For our sin.

He didn't even die for His own sin...but other people's...because He didn't have any. Man. He just gave, gave, gave, gave and never received.

When I think about this, I consider how He regularly left being with others to enjoy the presence of God. Fellowship with His Father. It seems this was His secret.

I think if I did that more...this battle wouldn't rage so strongly. If I stopped looking at earthly things like Colossians 3 talks about...then the battle to not surrender joy would be more consistently victorious.

I find great comfort and peace in my Perfect Saviour. Who had more reason to "feel sorry for Himself" than I ever will...and yet- He rejected it. He embraced humility and service. He gave away until there was nothing left to give-- because He gave it all.

Oh, LORD, thank you that you see me as Christ is. Thank you for the Gospel. Help me embrace this transition...and use it: force it to do good unto me. Molding me and shaping me to look like Jesus....