Some days it feels like I never left Orlando and there's just an odd "gap" in my memory and relationships...
And other days I couldn't feel more misunderstood by the culture here: its as though I turned into a Brit while away.
A wise man told me before I came back- that this transition back into my "original" culture would require much humility. I am finding the fight against my pride to be challenging- so challenging that at times, it leaves me silent. Afraid to speak.
I can't expect others to understand my experiences or perspective. That's ridiculous! I don't understand theirs! I can't communicate in words for others to comprehend what its like to live in another culture and be challenged by the Gospel with an international mindset. That would be impossible. I can't describe verbally what the last few years have looked like for me...or even really what it is I've learned...
...but there is One who does know. One who has understood. One who has been with me each and every single step of the way: my Saviour. All the way does He lead me. Each home, country, relationship, trial, conversation, lesson learned...He is there. Guiding my every step. And He's not about to stop now.
This is something sweet to enjoy: not a relational frustration to try to "fix." No, there is One who was more mis-understood than I will ever know. The author and perfecter of my faith. This is not about me, or my perspective, or my comfort...
its about Him. and His glory...for the WORLD to see.
And it makes me yearn for heaven all the more: for no country really feels like home anymore :)
2 comments:
Janelle- I love reading your blogs. So good to be able to keep up with how its going for you over there. praying for you xx
p.s love the new title.
Ruthy x
I really enjoyed reading this :) I can understand a little of what you are talking about. I have felt the same way at times.
...And I still think you should write a book someday. :)
Love, Julia
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