Friday, November 27, 2009

broken vessel. emphasis on the broken.

This girl (me) had the most pathetic time with the LORD this morning if you measured on a scale of time or distraction. My prayers on the way to work about today and for tonight were pleas for faith that He is working and not indifferent or unexcited. Because...that's what I am. Indifferent. And unexcited.

Today was a day of being homesick.

In increasing exhaustion, I've begun to lose my voice. Friday's are long days. Work til 5, home for a little over an hour, back to set up for Teens.

I find VJxtra the least motivating because few come, and my relationships there are not yet strong. Guess what tonight was?

So, I go early to get fondue ready. And on my drive over, thanks to not having a working radio or CD player (really, such a blessing) I confessed aloud to the LORD that I didn't want to go.

I asked Him to change my heart. To blow my mind away like He has so many times- to please give opportunities for the Gospel to go forth in a changing way in someone's life tonight. For something SO big to happen, that I'd have to blog about it. Yes. I actually prayed that.

So...guess who "randomly" showed? A girl from Bettws who's not been to church in about 9 months and has been rebelling.

Guess who was in my "group discussion" at the end? Just her.

We sat in Pete's office and talked about how the idea of getting our life together or forgiving ourself first before going to God for forgiveness isn't the Gospel. We go in our mess. In our sin. Not having anything together. We point to Christ and say, "I'm with Him." It is ALL of Christ and none of us. Her smile warmed my heart and beckoned me to join her-- enjoying the beauty of the Gospel and what freedom is found in it!

Praise God for the Gospel Primer to quote when I'm not sure how to explain what I mean in simple words. Can't tell you how many times I've drawn from that resource.

The night ended with her saying she wanted to go home and pray for forgiveness.

I don't know if she'll do that. I don't know if she "gets it" yet. I don't know if she'll ever be saved. I don't know anything about her. But what I do know...

is that our God is a humble God. A Faithful God. And that it is good for our own souls, to share the Gospel with unbelievers.

Please join me in praying that salvation would be hers toinght. Father, reveal Yourself.


Debi Walter said...

J.J. I love your honesty in this post. I have been praying to God in a similar way - desperate prayers. If you, O Lord, don't change my heart then even my prayers are futile. He has answered me in an amazing way today! So I can freshly rejoice with you in this seemingly small, yet HUGE way! God is so busy in the mundane things of our lives, and I'm starting to get a clue! I'm so looking forward to you coming home. Take care!!

Kat Toms said...

really looking forward to a skype/chat soon. one reason being i can totally relate to this post. and want to hear more what God has been teaching you in this season.

the message this morning at church was excellent for my soul. it was on heb 12 in how we view life difficulties (whether big or small). i'll try and have my notes with me when we chat. so we can wrestle through truth together.

love you, jage. xxx

My year in Wales... a memoir in the making said...

Do I know who this girl is?!?! Either way I am praying for those Bettws girls!!!
Love that to hear you running to the Gospel for truth! Dosen't take much faith to know we are broken, but faith to know we are vessels! We are vessels because HE became broken!!!