Friday, January 16, 2009

When I am afraid, I will trust in You.

My greatest fear in coming to Wales was changed relationships in Orlando. Since day ONE of hearing about this program- that's what I was afraid of...and I knew it was inevitable.

Now, as I'm "into the year," I'm beginning to have increasing opportunities to make the choice to be here in heart--relationally. And not just here physically. And not only "be here"...but "not be there." In Orlando. This, I submit, might be the greatest challenge of the year.

As I was battling discouragement of watching relationships "shift" (as they should!) and feeling more and more out of the loop today, a dear friend, Alli, helped me speak truth to myself. Oh, what a joy she is!

God is FAITHFUL. He knows what He's doing. This was no accident-- me being here is a miracle. Many miracles. "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our LORD." Romans 8:38. Ah, sigh of relief.

Then I went to 10:31. Our youth group where the parents come as well. As I stood in the kitchen with my precious LIFE girls, I looked at their faces and sensed a sweet, gentle probing of a question..."Is it worth it?" Meaning the cost. The "missing out" of dear friends lives 4,000 miles away. The not being there. The adjustment it will take upon my return. Is it worth it? And as soon as the question was asked, love for these middle school girls rushed into my heart as a resounding "YES!" was the answer. What a precious season this is! Yes, it is worth it! It's worth it for the Gospel to go forth! It's worth it to know these girls- to have the privilege to watch God working in them- the joy of serving them. It's worth it for the growing I hope is going on in my heart. It's worth it because He can be trusted. He knows what He's doing. And just like the verse I mentioned the other day- about keeping my eyes forward and my gaze straight before me...not looking to the right or left. That is my mission should I choose to accept it. With His promises in hand, I embrace it. Thank you, LORD. You are good.

1 comment:

The VanLue Family Zoo said...

It IS worth it Jage. God has given you an incredible opportunity to invest in the lives of girls you would have probably never met. Your heart to serve and to sacrifice your "comfortable" life here in Orlando is a wonderful example of what being a disciple means. You are following Christ, even if it means across the ocean. Thank you for sharing your struggles, but also for sharing how the Lord is using them to point you back to His cross and His truth. I miss you friend!