Friday, August 22, 2008

Funny Feeling

I'm not sure what's going on. I don't know if I'm under spiritual attack, or I'm living with unknown un-confessed sin, or if I'm merely out of my routine, but something is just not "right".

I journaled for a while last night, was in prayer, and read- and the only thing I could come up with to "diagnose my soul" was that I needed to be in the Word more, praying more (while not being legalistic- knowing this does not earn my standing before God "for the day"), and not be ruled by my emotions. I don't know that I've felt this "distant" from the LORD in years. The Gospel Primer has been a wonderful source of encouragement over the past several weeks, and I continue to pray that these truths would not become so familiar that I'm unaffected by them. I WANT TO BE AFFECTED! I want to FEEL conviction, I want to FEEL joy, I want to LONG for change.

I'm resting in the glorious truth that Christ was tempted in EVERY respect as I am tempted-- yet without sin. He does not stand far off from my weakness, but sympathizes with my weakness.

I have been very aware of my inadequacy, my weakness, my failings, etc. And each time I rehearse them, I tell my heart to REJOICE. It is GOOD that I feel so weak. Until I am aware that I'm weak, God cannot use me. And my weakness is PERFECTED in His strength.

These truths just seem way too good to be true right now, so I am rehearsing them often:

1. My justification has everything to do with CHRIST'S death and life and does not change based on my "success" or "failure" in overcoming sin, NOR is it affected by my emotions.

2. I cannot smuggle ANY "good works" into my salvation. It is all of Him. None of me.

3. He has PROMISED to complete the work He's begun in me.

4. He who promised, is faithful. (Thanks, SJ, for reminding me of that!)

3 more days left in the country! =)

2 comments:

Amy said...

Uhoh. I remember you and those funny feelings. I think sometimes God likes to remind us we cannot even draw near to Him without his help. Like we can't even ask for help without his help. Wow, we are really human!!!

Lindsay said...

Keep talking to yourself Jage. Don't listen to the gross sin that LOVES to creep up and stain your thoughts and actions. Fall on His grace daily! It's the only thing that has EVER worked for me in times like these :D